Monday, October 17, 2011

bringing my A game

 day 1, on a schedule: oh thaaaat's what all the fuss is about! when i would tell other people that we didn't really have a schedule, i would get looks. i would stammer and say things like, "well, it's just a very loose schedule," and it was - very loose. i know that i've only been at it for one day and a ton can change, but i really like having it all laid out in front of me, on paper, what is to happen next.
 i did wake up an hour late this morning (according to the schedule), and we did end up pushing everything back about 15 minutes. i forgot to take into account that transitions are s-l-o-w with young ins, but during nap time i got caught up with that time loss buy waking up the kiddos earlier. i thought it might help with putting them to bed and falling asleep earlier but it still took them both about an hour to get quiet in their rooms tonight - that doesn't usually happen.
 i even found that i had time that i didn't know i had! does that make sense? grant it, i'm waking up earlier, so i do have "extra time", but i feel it! so i didn't get all bent out of shape feeling like i was racing my new schedule with the clock.
 oh yeah, and the hubs was super excited about the schedule too! tonight he thanked me for "bringing my A game."
 day 2? bring it!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

time keeps on ticking ...

 here's my challenge for this week: i am going to make a schedule, pray over it, and stick to it.
 why? because their just doesn't ever seem to be enough time.
  (side note: when i awoke this morning, the first thing i said as i got out of bed was, "time keeps on ticking - ticking - ticking-" my husband, awake though i didn't know it yet, finished the line for me, "into the future - ")
 why is this a challenge you ask? because i don't like schedules, they make me feel ... rushed ... pressed for time. no need to feel this way though, because it will be an all day type of schedule, which means i've got all day. the same 24 hours each day holds, no more, no less, no rush, right? that will be what i remind myself if i start to feel anxious about it.
 why pray over it? because i want to hand my day over to the Lord - it is His day, for me to do His will. while i may have certain desires for the out come of each and every day, ultimately, i want whatever He has in store for me. so i'll be praying, making my schedule, praying over it and then be open for His changes - i'm sure they will come :)
 i'm off to go make my schedule and i'll keep a log here how it's all going. i can't say that every night i'll update, but i'll do my best :)

striving for intention

 oh hello there blog ~ i have been gone for a while. thinking...thinking...thinking about all this striving.
a little while ago i stumbled across a new blog and really enjoyed reading it. then it threw me for a loop! in this insightful, scripture filled blog, this women of God, was saying (basically speaking) stop striving.
 hold the phone!
 i know, i know - you maybe wondering what in the world did i care what this blogger was saying? i cared because i could tell she cared. i cared because i believed in what she was saying. i cared because i was striving.
 here is the difference in what she was saying and what i am doing. yes, it did take me much prayer and careful thought to understand this.
 basically, she was saying stop trying to be one person and embrace the person God created you to be. that no matter how hard you try to do right, to think right, to speak right, it will not save you. it will not get you to God. that the only one, true and honest way to Him is through His son Jesus Christ. (john 14:6) that simply saying the prayer is not all their is to it. that you have to have the heart change. the veil must be lifted from your eyes to see the difference in knowing who Christ is and accepting who He is and what He did as our saviour. to fall in love with Him because He first loved us. (1john 1:19)
 i don't know why it took me so long to see that my striving was in fact a desire to be a better slave for Him. that truly is where this blog birthed itself. i had to remind myself that i am okay with who i am - crazy as that may be! i am a daughter of the King and i do want to please Him. in that desire, i have to keep myself in check. that my mouth, hands, thoughts must all be held accountable to the blood that so lovingly washed them clean from the filth that my sin nature wants to grab for sometimes. this blog was to be my accountability. a way for me to log and share my struggles and my desires for bettering myself.
 yes striving on a daily basis can be hard but when the intention is right, it is like a Love salve for the soul. i keep reminding myself too, anything worth changing isn't going to be easy.
 so after much mulling it over in my own messy head - i am back at it.