oh hello there blog ~ i have been gone for a while. thinking...thinking...thinking about all this striving.
a little while ago i stumbled across a new blog and really enjoyed reading it. then it threw me for a loop! in this insightful, scripture filled blog, this women of God, was saying (basically speaking) stop striving.
hold the phone!
i know, i know - you maybe wondering what in the world did i care what this blogger was saying? i cared because i could tell she cared. i cared because i believed in what she was saying. i cared because i was striving.
here is the difference in what she was saying and what i am doing. yes, it did take me much prayer and careful thought to understand this.
basically, she was saying stop trying to be one person and embrace the person God created you to be. that no matter how hard you try to do right, to think right, to speak right, it will not save you. it will not get you to God. that the only one, true and honest way to Him is through His son Jesus Christ. (john 14:6) that simply saying the prayer is not all their is to it. that you have to have the heart change. the veil must be lifted from your eyes to see the difference in knowing who Christ is and accepting who He is and what He did as our saviour. to fall in love with Him because He first loved us. (1john 1:19)
i don't know why it took me so long to see that my striving was in fact a desire to be a better slave for Him. that truly is where this blog birthed itself. i had to remind myself that i am okay with who i am - crazy as that may be! i am a daughter of the King and i do want to please Him. in that desire, i have to keep myself in check. that my mouth, hands, thoughts must all be held accountable to the blood that so lovingly washed them clean from the filth that my sin nature wants to grab for sometimes. this blog was to be my accountability. a way for me to log and share my struggles and my desires for bettering myself.
yes striving on a daily basis can be hard but when the intention is right, it is like a Love salve for the soul. i keep reminding myself too, anything worth changing isn't going to be easy.
so after much mulling it over in my own messy head - i am back at it.