Monday, August 15, 2011

i am sweet and sour sauce

 i love chinese food. whenever we go to a new chinese restaurant i always order sweet and sour pork (or chicken) first. it's this dish that determines my opinion of the new restaurant. no really. it should be pretty basic right? the effort put into basic should carry over into the effort put into the not so basic, right?
  in my opinion their are two types of sweet and sour sauce. good and bad.
 the good: on the thicker side, with bits of pineapple and carrots. and if they're really paying attention to detail, the carrots will be julienned and sliced penny sized!
  the bad: thin, runny, sauce; no pineapple, no carrots = no good.
  i know - i know what your thinking, maybe with the economy the way that it is, they have to cut back on pineapple bits and julienned carrot slices. maybe? but they will then end up on my "not so favorite list" of chinese restaurants.
  where am i going here,,,i know i had a point... i yeah!
  so i missed a few days - in a row - of early morning prayer, alone with the Lord. yes, i did! and i made an observation.
  i am sweet and sour sauce!
  no-really! on the days that i start off right, coffee date kept with the Almighty, my whole being, my whole spirit, is on the sweeter side. the days that i sleep extra, or just have kids waking up to the sound of my clock beeping, i am a little more sour. i'm not talking doctor jeckel and mr hyde here, not quite. but their is a significant difference.
  so much so, that when i do start my day off right, keeping my coffee date with the King, it gets blessed with pineapple bits and julienned carrot slices! not literally, they don't fall from the ceiling slathered in thick sweet and sour sauce. but rather, i notice my blessings, am quicker to point them out, quicker to point Him out, to point others to Him, to be lesser so that He can be greater.
  otherwise i feel like the sad version of sweet and sour sauce, a thin, runny sauce, with no blessing of pineapple and carrots floating around ( at least it's harder to find them ).
  call me crazy? that's alright with me. this is just the way i see it.
  a strange thing happened this morning, and perhaps this is just too far over the edge but bare with me. my clock went off at 7:00 a.m. this morning. i was up at 6:00 and should have just gotten up, but instead i thought 'oooow! i'm gonna get another hour of sleep here!' when my clock went off at 7:00 i pushed brew on my coffee maker on my bed side table and fell back to sleep - nooooooo!
  yes, but here's the thing, i had the strangest dream! i dreamt that i was picked up from work ( i don't actually work outside of my home - unless you count gardening and yard work ) picked up by a faceless man - who drove me - in reverse - from the outside of the car - through my town - while spinning fire balls in his hands and causing explosions.    
................................... i know ...................... weird! ..........................................
  when i woke up it was a minute after 8:00! way late for coffee with the King! i pictured Him (as best as any earthly being could ) sitting, coffee cup in one hand, taping the fingers of the other and maybe even one of his feet, waiting. looking around and waiting. and i never showed up! i have been standing up the king!
  shame on me!
  as i got up and grabbed my now cold coffee, the burner no longer keeps the cup warm, i kept thinking about this dream. what in the world could it mean? i know i was wanting to get up and out of bed. i know i was wanting to choose the Lord over sleep. i know i have been hard on myself for not keeping this date lately.        i kept on thinking about this dream.
  here is where i may loose you. probably the dream meant nothing at all. me? i like to find meaning in everything, so this is what i think it means.
  being picked up by a faceless man - who drove the car from the outside of the vehicle - in reverse - and spun fire around his hands and caused explosions; maybe this is what life is like when i'm not handing it all over the Lord? maybe it's like letting a faceless man - the enemy - drive me - direct me - from a slight distance - in reverse - in confusion - showing me problems and causing problems along the way.
  sound far fetched? it made sense to me.
  personally, i'd rather be driven, from very close - say my heart - in a forward facing motion - if even it's foggy and i can't see what's in front of me - whose hands hold, and heal, and love, and show grace and mercy, and instead of causing problems they mend and fix problems, that maybe even i've created, or just witnessed.
    really? it just made me sad that i missed my coffee date this morning. and don't get me wrong here, it's not that i didn't pray at all today, that still happened, tons. but tithing my first bit of the day, sacrificing my treasured sleep, making the point to keep my coffee date, and spending it alone with He who desires me most - is not to be missed - ever
.....could this be difference in choosing sweet over sour? ......
  so with all that in mind, shared and wishing to spend tomorrows quiet morning with my morning Prayer Partner, i must sign off and head to bed.


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