Monday, July 11, 2011

in the beginning

   lately i've been wondering, 'how much of my life do i just "wing it" and how much of my life do i live out intentionally?' this question came to mind while potty training my daughter. i thought, 'i'll just sit her on the potty and see what happens.'
   isn't that silly?
   as if a near two year old girl would have any idea what to do on a potty unless i intentionally teach her. remembering back to potty training my son, it was very deliberate, very much thought out. he was very encouraged by daddy, mommy, nanna the great and several others. we read potty friendly books to him. i read potty training books to myself. it took a little time but it was something we planned for and made happen.
   it got me thinking, 'how much of the many days of my life am i going to let happen and how much of the many days of my life am i going to make happen?' now this could go in several directions but for this life, the one i am living, i want to make sure i am intentionally living it out, not only on purpose, but with purpose. deliberately. thinking about the words i use before i use them. the actions i take before i take them, or in my case, just to take any action at all instead of only thinking on it.
   i have been learning s-l-o-w-l-y but surely to take my every thought captive. reminding myself often, of the imaginary but very real filter that needs to be constantly installed somewhere inside my mouth - wondering how much of that filter needs to be installed in my heart first.
   so this is my attempt at striving for intention in my life. each and every day i'll make up my mind what to specifically focus on. a problem area in my life - look out this could get personal. focus on intentionally making it right. practicing making it right until it becomes part of me - intentionally.
it's currently 11:54 pm on monday night and i need to go to bed. tomorrow morning at 6:00 am my nana will be getting a new pacemaker. this has the potential to make me stress and worry throughout my day. even forget my responsibilities as wife, mother, home maker, homeschooling teacher, friend to some and, most importantly, daughter of the King. the challenge for myself tomorrow will be an easy one for me to spot if i'm failing and i've got plenty of combat ammunition. is this starting to sound like war?
   their are three timers in my kitchen so i have no reason not to set up a timed hourly prayer vigil for my nana. this alone will help me as well. i have done this in the past for other people for all different reasons and my kids are now awear that when a timer in the kitchen goes off, it usually either means we are about to eat, or mommy's in the kitchen for five minutes of prayer. perhaps this striving for intention will rub off on my kiddos too? i'm praying it will make me more of what i can be through Christ, for Christ.

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