Wednesday, July 13, 2011

on the first day i prayed

  so today started out quite stressful but ended very well. my intention today was to see to it that i didn't stress or worry about my nana's surgery. my plan of action was to have it covered in prayer and keep myself busy. i know, this sounds like a no-brainer. how easy it is to say it. how easy it is to think it, but to really follow through with it? intentionally hand my stress and worry to Jesus and go about my day faithfully knowing that whatever the outcome, He is in control - all the time. (thankfully Him and not me.) that no matter what i am handed, i can not only get through it with Christ but that i can bring glory and honor to His decisions for my life and my families.
  sticking with my plan of hourly prayer, asking a few family and friends to pray, as they felt led, throughout the day helped me to feel like i had it covered in prayer, as much as i could. busying my mind whole heartily with regular daily tasks kept my mind from thinking on it and the many "what-if's". in fact, it made each and every daily task seem less daily, less ordinary. which lends itself to my next intentional challenge but more of that in the next post.
 this just seemed natural. isn't this the way we are supposed to handle stress? worry? "take it to the Lord in prayer" and leave it there? easier said then done sometimes. a few years ago i was so stressed about so many things, none of which i could control. the only way out of the dark pit of stress and worry was pure meditation on matthew 6:34 do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself. each day has enough trouble of it's own. although my first thought after reading this verse was, "WHAT?!? tomorrow will be troublesome?!?" my next thought was, "what trouble will i have to deal with today?!?"  -lol!
 but really, one day at a time, one issue at a time, one breath at a time. i once read a quote about worrying about tomorrow only sucking the life out of today, or something like that. long story short - this verse didn't apply because my source for concern was taking place today.
 another super great scripture that i love to hold myself accountable to is philippians 4:8 finally, brothers whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. thinking of this one is super great too but sometimes it's the truth that is ugly and horrible that you have to face down, and their is nothing you can do about it because once again, God is in control.
 trying to think of another verse to mediate on during the day when i got stressed just wasn't working. so the only thing i could do was really lay it at the feet of Jesus and leave it there. because really, isn't all this balled up stress and worry more about my fear of the unknown? my lack of control? and who better to have in control then the maker of heaven and earth, the one Who has named every star and knows exactly how many hairs are growing on my head?
  quite frankly i am glad i'm not the one in control here. my fear of messing it all up is greater then my desire to control it all, so that kind of takes care of itself. each and every time in between prayer timers, if my thoughts would race back to nana and her surgery and all the what-if's, i'd just say "supplemental" prayers and remind myself that 'God's got this, thankfully not me' and jump head first into playing with my kids or working on school.
 the challenge to not stress or worry was so motivational that i was able to get a little creative with school. phonics became p.e., p.e. became math and we did art twice today just for the fun of it!
 all in all today was a good reminder to myself to practice what i preach - intentionally. oh yeah, nana got her new pacemaker and a new wire was also needed causing her to have an over night stay. not that i'm happy that she had to go through with all the surgery and all that comes along with the healing process, but i am glad to have gotten to see her tonight. she doesn't live here but her surgery was in my home town so the kids and i got to visit. and i think we may have helped her feel a little better too.

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